A Matter of Timing

 

As a preface, anyone who knows my dad knows he's a skiing addict. He's self-diagnosed himself with a form of depression called SDWIDS (Situational Depression When I Don't Ski) and has water or snow skied every single month of the year since 2003. Waterskiing in particular has always been one of the ways my dad and I connect. Skiing with Dad has been the source of many life lessons, including this one.

In the Northwest, waterskiing usually involves being cold, at least for a minute or two. In April, a wetsuit does little to take away the chill of the season’s first run, and in October, frozen feet throb as they pound up the dock in flip flops . Even in summer, mornings are cool and dropping in or getting out of the lake is likely to induce goose bumps.

But it’s different in the tropics.

My family spent part of one Christmas vacation waterskiing on a beautiful lake at the foot of Arenal, the volcano that is the beating heart of Costa Rica’s central jungle. When I jumped in, there was no sharp intake of breath, no muscles seizing up. The paradox of skiing and feeling warm took my mind a second to process and then I understood why some people actually choose to live in Florida.

During our blessedly warm adventure, I learned something new about how to ski a waterski course--a set of six buoys a skier attempts to turn around while the boat races down the center. I’d always seen the course as something that required pushing myself to the absolute limit--every pull-out, every turn, every trip across the wake demanded the most intensity I could possibly muster. And while it’s true that the course does require focus and major physical effort, it’s more than just muscles and drive. It’s more than I can do. It’s also a matter of timing, of figuring out the rhythm and working with it.

By the end of our trip, I realized I didn’t have to pull out like a person trying to win a tug-of-war contest against a giant to make it through the course. In the right conditions, a gentle but purposeful glide could be just as effective. Knowing when to let up was as important as knowing when to pull with all my might.

Back in the coolness of the Northwest and skiing in the shadow of our volcano, I’ve thought about that lesson as I practice my rhythm on the water. Living life to its fullest--something my dad has taught me more about than he’ll ever know--requires the ability to recognize that we can’t muscle our way through life alone. Or at least we shouldn’t.

The course lost much of its intimidation factor when I realized I didn’t have to kill myself to make it through. In the same way, finding fulfillment and purpose becomes less scary as I recognize that life requires more than I can do with my own strength. It’s also a matter of trusting in the timing of the One who will lovingly use his infinite power to empower us to finish the course.

What's the best lesson your dad has taught you?

Wednesday Wisdom

 

Today I'm working hard to remember that change is an opportunity to learn, to grow, to reinvent, to improve, to shift perspective, to stretch, to discover, to consider what really matters, to appreciate that life is not stagnant. Choosing not to be afraid is the best gift I can give myself.



10 Things to Do in Oahu

To celebrate our marriage turning the big 1-0, my husband and I we’re lucky enough to spend a kid-free week on Oahu. While we typically both love exploring off the beaten path, after two and half crazy years of new parenting, we were craving some serious relaxation. On our trip, we were reminded again why Hawaii is such a fabulous vacation spot: it’s so easy to be there. You get the exotic beauty of the tropics with all the amenities of being in the States (drinkable tap water, thank you very much).

Here’s my list of ten must-do things the next time you visit.

1. Hit the Beach, But Skip Waikiki
I know, it’s iconic. But with so many gorgeous beaches, why share towel space with thousands of other people on sand flown in from Molokai (as the urban legend goes)?


Ka'ena

A few favorites:

Lanikai Beach via Matt Sims

Lanikai Beach (Kailua): beautiful and serene with great views of the Mokulua Islands, two small bird sanctuaries right offshore.
Kalama Beach (Kailua): great waves for bodysurfing
Malaekahana Beach (outside Laie): a huge beach nearly empty on weekdays. Prepare to feel like you’ve landed on your own deserted island.
Ka’ena State Park (almost at the end of the road on the North Shore): If you drive through Haleiwa, the road will eventually end. Near the end of the road, is a beautiful, nearly deserted beach that’s the perfect place to feel like you’ve truly stepped away from everything but sand and surf.

Note: These beaches were safe for swimming on the days we visited, but of course be aware of current conditions before jumping in.

2. Pay Your Respects

I was surprised at the way visiting Pearl Harbor impacted both Stefan and me. We were deeply touched at the sacrifices made to literally save the world. While the USS Arizona Memorial was the highlight for me, Stefan loved touring the WWII submarine and the USS Missouri battleship, where the peace treaty ending WWII was signed.

Punchbowl National Cemetery is also worth a trip. It honors those who fought in America’s Pacific Wars. As at all cemeteries, there’s a special feeling of reverence and gratitude.

3. Have Shave Ice as Often as Possible

Confession: I hate snow cones. Hate them. But shave ice is a whole other story. Our favorite was a little hole-in-the-wall place in Honolulu called Ice Garden where two little old ladies serve up old school treats (we ate so fast we forgot to take pictures). We also loved Island Snow in Kailua (President Obama always stops by when he's in town) and Aloha General Store in Haleiwa, where we ate these giant bowls for dinner.

4. Stop at Every Scenic Point

Because they’re actually scenic. We stopped at every one we saw and we’re rewarded with incredible views.

5. Take a Hike

As much as we thought we only wanted to lay on the beach, we found we needed a little something to get the blood pumping. Our favorite hike was the Old Pali Highway, where the view is absolutely spectacular. The Lanikai Pillbox trail is quick, steep, and very rewarding. And if you’re in Oahu, you can’t not hike Diamond Head. Get there early if you want to beat the crowds.

The view from the top of Diamond Head

6. Get Addicted to Crack Seed

No, nothing illegal here. Crack seed is the generic name for a bunch of dehydrated and preserved fruits brought to Hawaii by Chinese immigrants and eaten like candy. On a friend’s recommendation, we visited The Crack Seed Store in Honolulu, full of jars of some of the weirdest looking stuff you’ve ever seen. We were quickly and forever addicted to the li hing mui (super sour dried plums) and chili mango.

7. Eat, Eat, and Eat Some More
A few of our favorite finds:

Kaimuki Superette (Honolulu): Adding seared ahi to a club sandwich might be the best idea ever.

Image via Yelp

Kalbi On Fire (North Shore): Unbelievable Korean barbecue from a food truck (or bus, more accurately).

Uahi Island Grill (Kailua); The catch-of-the day with red curry and papaya salad is seriously delicious.

Via The Pig & The Lady

The Pig & The Lady (Honolulu; Kailua Farmers' Market): Vietnamese sandwiches taken to a whole new level (pho French dip, for example).

8. Treat Yourself to Malassadas

Image via Yelp

I’m not a big donut person, but these little Portuguese treats are unreal (it seems Hawaii turns all my dessert prejudices upside down). They’re basically a ball of fried dough rolled in sugar and served hot. Our favorite place to get them is Agnes’ Portuguese Bake Shop. So, so good.

9. See the LDS Temple in Laie

Image via lds.org

This beautiful temple with its peaceful grounds is worth a stop. Finished in 1919, it’s the oldest temple built outside the continental US and right on the way between Honolulu and the North Shore.

10. Watch the Sunset

You can’t be in Hawaii without taking some time to watch the sunset. Waimea Bay Beach Park (near Haleiwa) is the perfect spot on the North Shore (stop at Ted’s Bakery on the way out for killer chocolate-coconut pie), while Pu’u Ualaka'a State Park is one of the best spots in Honolulu.

Did I miss anything? We'd love to hear your tips for the best of Hawaii.

A Lesson from Maria

 

My two-year old has decided he likes pushing my buttons as much as the up and down buttons on the elevator at the mall. Whether I’m asking him to put on shoes or not throwing handfuls of kinetic sand around the kitchen, nearly every ask from me is met with a) fleeing the scene, b) flailing temper tantrums, or c) yelling “you’re in big trouble, mommy!” Unfortunately, my reactions to his reactions have not been much better lately.

It seems that parenting often requires me to make quick decisions under emotionally-charged circumstances. We all know we have to discipline quickly when kids do something naughty lest they forget why they’re being sent to timeout or losing toy privileges—but making a good discipline decision that’s in line with who I think I am (or aspire to be) can be really hard when I’ve just been kicked in the face during a diaper change.

The other day I stumbled on inspiration from an unlikely source—and it’s since become my new mantra. Do you remember the scene in The Sound of Music when Maria is going to meet the Von Trapp children for the first time? She quiets her nerves by publically singing a song about confidence (which seems somewhat ironic) as she dances through the sunny streets of Salzburg. During her jaunt down the tree-lined lane leading to the gates of Captain Von Trapp’s dreamy country estate, Maria sings:

I have confidence they’ll put me to the test
But I’ll make them see I have confidence in me
Somehow I will impress them
I will be firm but kind

The line “firm but kind” has stuck in my head. In three words, it encapsulates how I want to discipline. Who knew Rodgers and Hammerstein were weaving parenting philosophy into their music?

I’ve since started repeating “firm but kind” in my mind often, hoping that repetition will instill the idea deep within my frazzled neural pathways so that the next time I’m facing pee on the carpet or bedtime strikes, I’ll have the ability to discipline in a way that gets the message across but doesn’t leave me with the sour taste of self-loathing. Will I fail? Absolutely. But at least I’m trying—and I think with parenting that’s the best any of us can do. I think the Reverend Mother would agree.

Do you have a mantra that helps you deal with the daily highs and lows of parenting?

5 Steps to Perfectly Pretty Flower Pots

As soon as the sun starts to shine, I'm itching for some bits of color around the yard. I have plenty of plants in my front and backyards that bloom on their own as the time comes, but my front porch always needs a facelift each year. Sure, you can buy a preassembled pot from your local nursery or even Home Depot, but putting together your own custom mix makes walking up to your door to find beautiful blossoms that much more meaningful. In case your thumbs don't quite have the greenest of hues to them (which I'm still working on myself!) here are a few tips to get you started.

Step 1: Scout out your sun.
Before heading to the nursery, observe the area you plan to use for your flower pots. How often does the sun shine in that spot? You'll need identify one of three categories:
        Full Sun - This area has sun shining at least 6 full hours of the day
        Partial Sun - The sun shines here around 4-5 hours per day
        Full Shade - This area gets less than 2 hours of sun per day.

Step 2: Pick your plants.
Plants should be marked according to their desired sun exposure. Now that you know what works in your planned area, stick to plants that have the appropriate level of sun. Depending on the size of your pot, I like to be sure to vary the height and color of plants I choose. For a standard medium-large pot I follow this formula:
        1 small tree + 1 tall flower + 2 medium flower + 1 medium green + 1 small ground cover
The formula follows from tallest to shortest. This keeps the pot interesting with different levels and shades. You have a lot of flexibility in picking plants that appeal to you in their look and color. One more thing to keep in mind is whether your plants are annuals or perennials. Annuals have a single blooming period then need to be dug up as they won't return the next year. Perennials maintain year after year but will also generally have a blooming period. Double check once you've picked plants that look good to you that the sun exposure and blooming period work for what you need.

Step 3: Lay your foundation.
I generally go for annuals in my flower pots so each year I'm left with a large pot of old soil. It's important to use good soil each year that will give your new plants plenty of nutrients. I try to dig out about a third of my old soil and refill about 2-3 inches of new, fresh gardening soil. (I use MiracleGro organics garden soil but feel free to ask a garden specialist wherever you shop.)

Don't worry about refilling the pot to the top with soil since you'll go back and fill once your plants are in. See how much healthier and fresh that new soil looks? Fancy fancy.

Step 4: Perfect your placement.
While my plants are still in their containers, I like to arrange them in my pot to make sure I get everything just where I want it. It will give you an idea of how much space you have to realistically work with and make sure that no plants end up getting lost behind another. Because my ground covers are typically things that trail or droop, I make sure to place them on the very edge of my pot so that little vines will fall over.
Once you're happy with your arrangement, pull your plants out, one by one, from their containers and break apart their roots well. Especially when plants have been held in big box nurseries, they can become super root-bound and need to be broken up with a spade or clippers. Don't be afraid to really spread things out to make sure the roots can span out over time.

Step 5: Water and enjoy.
Your plants will need a good dose of water once they are finally planted. Likely, they haven't had a good drink in some time and will need the moisture, as well as the settling the soil will naturally undertake in their new home. I make sure to water really well for at least three consecutive nights once I plant a new pot. Afterwards, I taper off to every 2-3 days but be sure you give your plants as great of a start as you can. From there, the maintenance is minimal but the beauty is so rewarding.

In Honor of Moms

 

This is the first picture my mom and I ever took together. In the thirty years since, she's worked, sacrificed, cried, worried, and loved more than she probably ever imagined she was capable of. She's loved her children so well and in honor of her (and awesome moms everywhere), I wanted to share five of my favorite thoughts about motherhood in anticipation of Mother's Day on Sunday.

The art of mothering is to teach the art of living to children.

– Elaine Heffner

My mother handed down respect for the possibilities

and the will to grasp them.

– Alice Waters

It’s as if, in the mother’s eyes, her smile, her stroking touch,

the child first reads the message: ‘You are there!’

– Adrienne Rich

Your mother is your first friend.

– Edwidge Danticat

No other work reaches so close to divinity as does

the nurturing of the sons and daughters of God.

– Gordon B. Hinckley

If you're still looking for just the thing for your mom, check out our Gift Guide, plus great DIY ideas, brunch recipes, and more.

Mother's Day Out of the Box

We're in the final countdown approaching Mother's Day. Have you checked out our gift guide? In case you're looking to make something personal or just need some delicious recipes to make no-fail brunch or breakfast in bed, here are a few ideas to help you on your way.

DIY Gifts
One thing I love about DIY is that, in making the gift, you're putting a little of yourself into it. Already your gift is more personal and heartfelt. And as an added bonus, these gifts can really help if you're on a budget. Whether done by adults, or in come cases by kids, these gifts have a finished product not only a mother could love.

Apron / Bow Bag / Stamped Keychain / Kids' Silhouettes 

Mod Podge Journals / Painted Mason Succulents

Ombre Wooden Utensils / Homemade Bath Bombs

Breakfast/Brunch
My family had a tradition every year of preparing my mom breakfast in bed and bringing it up to her on a cookie sheet with all of our cards. It was a fun way to give her a break in the morning and give her a few extra minutes to sleep in (or just relax in bed) while dad supervised the mini cooks in the kitchen. As I've gotten older, not living with my mom makes accomplishing such a feat a lot more difficult. Instead, a nice brunch seems to be a great solution that still lets people have a laid back morning before meeting together for yummy food.

Baked French Toast by The Pioneer Woman

This is one of all-time favorite breakfast go-to's. It's incredibly delicious and super easy to throw together the night before so that in the morning, only minimal prep is needed for a delectable main dish. Add some fresh fruit, fresh whipped cream or creme fraiche on top and you'll be in heaven.

Broccoli, Ham and Cheese Strata Cups by Buns in my Oven

In terms of savory options, I can't get enough of these delicious eggy bites. The combination of flavors is absolute perfection! As a bonus, the individual portions make this super easy to serve. Swap in caramelized onions or mushrooms for the broccoli for a different combination. Or, since you're making them in muffin tins, place your bread, meat and veggies in the cups in different combinations and pour the egg mixture over the top. You'll end up with a variety of flavors.

Fruit and Yogurt Parfaits by Veg Kitchen

This simple combination is not only super tasty, but beautiful as well. For large groups, you can even create a parfait bar for guests to create their own unique fruit, yogurt and granola combinations. Check out Ashley's tips for homemade granola to make this dish extra delicious.

Gift Cards
If your mom is tough to shop for, gift cards are typically a safe bet. But, rather than go the traditional retail route, here are a few favorites that are great for moms.

Cooking classes - Whether your mom is a gourmet chef or just an aspiring one, places like Sur la Table offer fun classes for all kinds of food that make great gifts.

Housecleaning - Give mom a break from the housework with the gift of housework. Whether it's DIY or hired out, the time off is sure to be appreciated. 

Makeup lessons - Several spas and salons offer makeup lessons to help mom update her look. Nordstrom does the same thing at most of their makeup counters with the hope that you'll buy product. Give mom a gift card so she's ready to buy her favorite products and make her an appointment to make sure she gives herself some time for a new look.

Of Petals and Pillows

On a recent vacation to California, I was struck by the abundance of colorful flowers—and an even more, how happy they made me feel. Since I’m a terrible flower arranger and an equally unskilled gardener, I’ve decided to bring more floral happiness into my home in the form of something that can’t die or wilt: pillows.

When I hear the word “floral,” I tend to initially picture stale, old-fashioned prints in shades of mauve and country blue. But floral prints are in a big way right now and the current crop are bright, fresh, and modern. I love how a hint of flower power adds an organic element to even the most modern rooms.

Anthropologie

Modern Living Room by Philadelphia Interior Designers & Decorators Caitlin Wilson

Transitional Bedroom by Austin Interior Designers & Decorators Butter Lutz Interiors, LLC

Contemporary Bedroom by Dallas Interior Designers & Decorators CDA Interior Design

If you're looking to add a little floral touch to your home, here are a few of my favorite finds.

Orange & Purple Mosaic / Floral Flamingo / Blue & Black / Embroidered Flowers

Yellow & White / Watercolor Boutique / Orange with Blue Center