A Lesson from Maria

 

My two-year old has decided he likes pushing my buttons as much as the up and down buttons on the elevator at the mall. Whether I’m asking him to put on shoes or not throwing handfuls of kinetic sand around the kitchen, nearly every ask from me is met with a) fleeing the scene, b) flailing temper tantrums, or c) yelling “you’re in big trouble, mommy!” Unfortunately, my reactions to his reactions have not been much better lately.

It seems that parenting often requires me to make quick decisions under emotionally-charged circumstances. We all know we have to discipline quickly when kids do something naughty lest they forget why they’re being sent to timeout or losing toy privileges—but making a good discipline decision that’s in line with who I think I am (or aspire to be) can be really hard when I’ve just been kicked in the face during a diaper change.

The other day I stumbled on inspiration from an unlikely source—and it’s since become my new mantra. Do you remember the scene in The Sound of Music when Maria is going to meet the Von Trapp children for the first time? She quiets her nerves by publically singing a song about confidence (which seems somewhat ironic) as she dances through the sunny streets of Salzburg. During her jaunt down the tree-lined lane leading to the gates of Captain Von Trapp’s dreamy country estate, Maria sings:

I have confidence they’ll put me to the test
But I’ll make them see I have confidence in me
Somehow I will impress them
I will be firm but kind

The line “firm but kind” has stuck in my head. In three words, it encapsulates how I want to discipline. Who knew Rodgers and Hammerstein were weaving parenting philosophy into their music?

I’ve since started repeating “firm but kind” in my mind often, hoping that repetition will instill the idea deep within my frazzled neural pathways so that the next time I’m facing pee on the carpet or bedtime strikes, I’ll have the ability to discipline in a way that gets the message across but doesn’t leave me with the sour taste of self-loathing. Will I fail? Absolutely. But at least I’m trying—and I think with parenting that’s the best any of us can do. I think the Reverend Mother would agree.

Do you have a mantra that helps you deal with the daily highs and lows of parenting?